The Honest Truth About Community in Life of Service
In the Central Valley, faith is lived through service - and community grows when everyone belongs.
By Jana N. Yost, M.A., APCC \ Coach & Consultant
Living a life of service changes how you experience community. If you are a fire wife, a military spouse, police wife, or veteran spouse, belonging is rarely simple or automatic. Our lives are shaped by duty, movement, and sacrifice. Stability becomes something we are always rebuilding.
For me, this life began early. In 2001, my first year of teaching second grade, 9/11 happened. I was standing in a classroom, responsible for young children, while the world shifted in real time. Years later, my husband fought in the the Iraq war. Like many service families, our life was shaped by deployment, reintegration, by learning how to live in between absence and return. When the withdrawl from Afghanistan happened, it was heartbreaking for the service community. It reopened wounds and stirred grief that never fully had a place to land. Then came medical military retirement, which felt less like care and more like a slap in the face. Service does not end cleanly. It lingers in the body, the marriage, the parenting, and the way you move through the world.
These experiences defined me. They shaped how I understand community and why I move through it the way I do. A life of service taught me to live with open arms, to accept others where they are, and to be inclusive by necessity, not ideology. When you are required to start over again and again, you learn quickly that connection cannot be selective. Belonging becomes about presence, effort, and humanity, not sameness or longevity.
The Central Valley is built on deep roots and strong community. Service families often carry history that others cannot see. We want connection, but we also know it costs to leave people we love. At the same time, many communities we enter are deepy rooted. Friendships span decades. Traditions are established. Long standing community is a gift. When it looks inward, it can unintentially close doors to those who are new. The tension is clearly online. Celebrating long term friendships is not wrong, but it can quietly send the message that belonging requires staying in one place. For those living a life of service, that can reinforce the feeling of always being on the outside, not matter how much we show up.
A life of service never ends. It shapes how we show up for others, how we build community, and how we hold space for stories that deserve to be seen. When we choose openness and understanding, belonging has room to grow.
