Daughters in War: Preparing the Heart for Mother’s Day

by Jana N. Yost

We are two weeks from Mother’s Day, and I have been thinking about what it actually means to prepare for a day like that. Not the plans, not the expectations, but what it looks like internally. Because the truth is, this day does not land the same for everyone. For some it is light and easy, and for others it carries weight that is harder to name. I don’t think the answer is to avoid it or to force ourselves into something that feels inauthentic. I think it starts with something quieter. Prepare my heart, Lord.

We live in a culture that talks about peace, but often moves past the reality of pain too quickly. It is easier to say we want joy than it is to sit with what people have actually carried to get there. For many women, that weight did not begin with them. It is layered. It comes from what they have lived, what they have seen, and what was passed down long before they had words for it. That kind of weight does not always show up in obvious ways, but it shows up over time.

When I think about war, I do not only think about something distant or historical. I think about my grandfather and the war he fought in, and I think about what my mom had to grow up with because of that. The absence, the return, the expectations, and the way life had to keep moving all shape something. That kind of life creates strength, but it also creates patterns. It shapes how love is expressed, how pressure is handled, and what gets carried without being said. Whether we realize it or not, some of that continues forward.

I grew up in that, not in the same way, but in the effects of it. As a young girl, I did not have language for what I felt, I just learned what was normal. I learned how to carry things, how to keep going, and how to hold things together even when I did not fully understand why. As I have grown into a woman and now a mother, I can see those patterns more clearly. I can see what was mine and what was not, and that awareness changes something.

There is another layer to this for me as well. Being a military spouse, and now a veteran spouse, I have lived inside a culture connected to war in a different way. It teaches strength, discipline, and service, and it teaches you how to keep moving forward when things are uncertain. But it also carries weight that is not always visible from the outside. Some of that stays internal, and some of it shows up later in ways you do not expect.

So when I think about preparing for Mother’s Day, I do not think it is just about the day itself. I think it is about everything that comes with it. The history, the relationships, the expectations, and the thoughts that surface whether we invite them or not. And I do not believe the answer is to tear that down or to assign blame to the people who came before us. They lived what they knew. They carried what they had to, and in many ways, they did it well.

There is a difference between acknowledging what shaped you and living inside of it. There is also a difference between honesty and blame. I can look at my story and see where things came from without turning it into something that shames my family or dismisses what they walked through. That kind of thinking does not lead to healing, it keeps people stuck. It also reflects a culture that is quick to cancel and quick to reduce people to their hardest moments, and I do not think that is the way forward.

For me, walking in freedom with Christ looks different than that. It is not about ignoring the past or pretending it did not have an impact. It is about not being held by it. It is about knowing I do not have to carry everything on my own and that I can choose what moves forward and what does not. That is a process, and I am still learning it, but it is real.

As Mother’s Day gets closer, I want it to be a joyful occasion. Not because everything is perfect, but because something is shifting. Because we are willing to prepare our hearts honestly and allow peace to have a place, even in the middle of everything that has come before.

Prepare my heart, Lord.